Archive for December 2016
This weekend my father actually asked me what I thought Big O was gonna do to respond to the hacking of our elections. He continued in the same breath to ask if we were going to take out Russia’s grid or something like that. My first thought was to say “Noooo” and to then explain to him how that might go all kinetic real quick like on us if we did. My response to him yesterday will be the genesis of this blog post today for you all. Since everyone seems all hot and bothered as to how we will respond and not giving Big O the benefit of the doubt that he actually reads the PDB’s and thinks about them, I will boil it all down to what I would do against Russia and Pooty to thread the needle and not cause an escalation.
I would undertake the review on what exactly happened with the IW/DISINFO/PSYOP/Hack that took place for the election. This is important to not only understand what happened, but to understand just how much damage was done and what actions it took to set that into motion. From this you can assess the response level you need and in this case it has been rather speculative as to what really went down. This I also really point at the whole argument that the election machines in key states may or may not have had some supply chain tampering going on. So far I personally have seen no evidence that there was enough of an investigation to rule this out.
I would look at the capabilities we have and the intelligence we have collected on Putin. Intel such as a good psych profile and anything on his wealth/business structure. With both of these I would seek to discern what would hurt him personally, not so much the country. I would also use the psych profile to determine in red teaming out what his responses would be to certain scenarios. In essence I would perform a game scenario simulation to get the best results for us and start to build a plan(s) on those.
I would, knowing that this attack was personal for Pooty, and given his nature (much like Trumps really) I would perform the following actions;
- Attack his finances. All of the dirty ones first.
- Attack him with whatever kompromat we have (CIA/NSA) in the same leaks style that we saw from the elections (See news today about Tillerson for a cue)
- IF we have the assets in place both digital and “other” I would work to counter ongoing efforts in Germany and France as well as other places where we know he wants to do the same thing politically
These are the things I would do in parallel to assessing the damage to our forward capacities regarding the ShadowBrokers recent tease. IF all of those exploits on there are real, then all of them have been compromised and burned. Any operations that may have used those tools are burned and any future use of them has been burned. It is my opinion that the new events with the ersatz “Boceefus” account is just Pooty and the GRU saying “Try anything and you will fail” but that is only one dimensional thinking frankly. It is time to go beyond bits and bytes and also use HUMINT.
Just this guys take…
Just wanted to put this all together for you all…
Starting in June…
As I write this the Twitter-sphere is on fire as the President Elect tweets that he does not believe the IC that the 2016 election cycle was tampered with by Russia (KGB and GRU) by Putin’s orders. Many people in the media and online are all up in arms over Turnip’s refusals and the hue and cry over how the IC should present what they have to Congress, the Electoral College members, and the people of the United States. I for one am sick of this back and forth armchair NATSEC bullshit. So here are my beefs in simple sentences for the simple minded…
If the IC says something happened then we should have an investigation.
Evidence from Crowdstrike on the DNC hack was enough for me to say we need a better investigation.
The fact that the RNC had nothing of merit dropped on them as DOX go to Wikileaks or elsewhere says volumes on direction of the attack.
Now that the IC is coming out of the shadows with allegations then the government should look at the voting machines forensically as well as other systems polling places use.
The hacking of the DNC was just ONE part of a LARGER action taken by the KGB and GRU and people should STOP just focusing on the DNC hack. It was an Informatsionnaya Yoyna operation!
People need to fucking STOP yammering about “why” Putin wanted to do this and his goals. His goals were to upset the apple cart here and IF he got a USEFUL IDIOT to control in the bargain even better!
Fake news is really PROPAGANDA just fucking call it what it is!
ALT-RIGHT = NEO-NAZIS
Fuck Turnip, stop listening to him at all. He is a pathological narcissist and NEEDS to feel that he is in control, he is wonderful, and he is LOVED by his minions.
FOCUS on how we are going to react to this! Do we allow this guy to be in the Whitehouse after we KNOW Russia played us?
We need to act or that dystopia everyone talks about will be fucking real!
Ok, now that I have that out of my system… Go read this NATO FM on Russian Information Warfare. You need to understand your enemy to react to them.
“THE BUTT HURT IS REAL”
A Note from Krampus….
Well kids it has been one hell of a fucking year for Krampus and he is feeling pretty god damned angry so you all better gird your loins for a good nut-sacking! Last year Krampus managed to get all the butt-hurt en fuego because he posted raw data and made the community look at their own shit. This year he sourced the nominations to the Krampus INFOSEC star chamber (you all know who you are and why you are wearing the hoodies when you voted!) but the general sense was that the aphorism of “None of us is as bad as all of us” is quite appropriate. To that end, Krampus is still fucking pissed with all of you really. You all, as a ‘community’ suck and you should stop thinking you are all special rock star INFOSEC snowflakes.
All of you con whores need to stop.
All of you Rock Stars need to get a life.
If you only care about breaking shit… Well… Fuck you. Hug a blue teamer so they can stab you in the spleen.
I guess Krampus just wants to quote Shatner here:
You know, before I answer any more questions there’s something I wanted to say. Having received all your letters over the years, and I’ve spoken to many of you, and some of you have traveled… y’know… hundreds of miles to be here, I’d just like to say… GET A LIFE, will you people? I mean, for crying out loud, it’s just a TV show! I mean, look at you, look at the way you’re dressed! You’ve turned an enjoyable little job, that I did as a lark for a few years, into a COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME!
Grow the fuck up!
Ok now that Krampus has that off his plate, on to the Krampus list 2016!
JESUS FUCKING FUCK! As if the government’s current approval rating of 17% overall wasn’t bad enough they still have not clue one how to secure shit! 2016 was a fuckfest of data loss and cyber fuckery! Take heart though kids… 2017 under Der Trumpler will be EVEN WORSE!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! could you guys please not have all your email and databases on systems secured by the local village idiot for a fucking change? What the fuck people? Watching all your email sprayed upon Wikileaks like so much CYBER JIZZ was enough for me to just pine for Putin’s shock troops to parachute in like in RED DAWN!
Allowing Putin’s re-constituted KGB do your cyber war dirty work was spectacular really but FUCK YOU.
YOU FUCKING OUTSOURCED YOUR TECH TO CHINA AND CHINA HACKED YOU!
You now have Krampus’ SF-86 and YET he has not had an attempt by some SWALLOWS to turn me? WHAT THE FUCK? Come on!
YOU are on the list because you sit there like a turkey in a rainstorm while all our CYBER shit goes to hell.
Krampus hates you with the force of a nuclear explosion.
Krampus first would like to say that he is often times just injecting shit into the stream to cause your SIGINT to be shitty.
Secondly, Krampus would like to say ENJOY THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION UNSHACKLING AND PWNING ALL THE THINGS WHILE LISTENING TO US ALL ON THE COLLECTIVE CAN TAKING A GIANT SHIT!
THIRDLY, Krampus would like to say that your loss, carelessly, of those tools this year… JESUS FUCK! WHY NOT JUST PUT IT ALL ON THE DARKNET FOR BITCOIN HUH?
FBI: Director Comey
JIMMY! JIMMY BOY! what the ever loving fuck man? First your moaning over crypto then this whole thing with emails and fucking up elections? Extra flailing for you!
JAKE, your room in hell has been furnished and is ready to go. The giant drill dildo that has a perpetual spray of ghost pepper is Krampus’ idea and Lucifer approved. Ride it like you stole it you fucker.
OH YOU NARCISSISTIC CYBER DOUCHE FUCKER! KRAMPUS HOPES THAT YOUR PSYCHE DEGRADES FURTHER AND FURTHER AS YOU WASTE AWAY IN YOUR LITTLE HOVEL. YOU FUCKING KBG ASSET.
HILLY! HIL, HILLSTER! WHAT THE FUCK? You are a smart woman and yet you fuck up the most simple things around email?
Welp… There you go… Krampus hopes that your BLEACH BIT of your history goes better than your classified data mishandling and email fuckery!
TOILET SERVER FOR THE WIN! … OOPS.
UGH, Krampus hates you all really but a few of you stood out in your cyber shit speaking and douchery! Generally though, the business of security has only doubled and tripled down on the fuckery. If Krampus really cared he could have a whole screed but he is just too shagged out over the community anyway to give a proper fuck!
YOU FUCKING KNEW YOU WERE HACKED IN 2014 AND YOU DID WHAT?
Facebook (aka FaceCult)
ZUCK! ZUCKY! YOU PERFUMED PERSONAL INFORMATION PORNO VAMPIRE! NOW YOU ARE BREAKING INTO FAKE NEWS!
Symantec Buys Lifelock!
Guess it is one way to make money of your shitty product…
Shitty Reporters (general)
Krampus saw and is still seeing some truly shitty reporting on the “cybers” out there. It is still playing out with reporters not talking to experts on a thing but then again it is the new age of there not being such a thing as facts so I guess fuck it all.
THIS douche really really really got shit wrong this year in the cyber. He is on Krampus’ list for some special treatment.
NEVER TAKE SHIT OUT OF CONTEXT OR LISTEN TO ANONYMOUS SOURCES SELLING YOU A SHITTY NARRATIVE WITHOUT LIKE DOING REPORTER SHIT AND VERIFYING THINGS YOU SHITSNACK.
Krampus had hopes for you but he always knew that you would become nothing more than an arm of propaganda for whatever intelligence service decided to use you. WHO KNEW it would be Russia? Oh yeah, ASSange did because he is their boy!
Die in a fire you propagandist fuckwits.