EquationGroup, ShadowBrokers, and Loving The Cyber Pathogen Bomb
We all knew that this shit was going on but now it’s reaching epic cyber douchery levels kids…
Hey someone posted some shit on the Github and the everywhere! LOOK!
Shiiiit this stuff looks kinda real!
FUCK THEY TOOK DOWN ALL THE LINKS!
…EXCEPT MEGA OF COURSE…
LOOK! RC5 and RC6 Implementations match EQUATION GROUP!
SNOWMAN SAYS LAY OFF RUSSIA BECAUSE YOU WAKE DA BEAR! (Uhh hey, can I have my dacha now? I have been a good comrade)
ASS-ANGE FROM HIS EVITA BALCONY: WE HAVE ALL THE SHIT AND WE WILL BE POSTING IT BECAUSE FUCK YOU ALL!
SECRET SQUIRRELS FORMERLY AT NSA SAY HOLY SHIT!
SECRET SQUIRRELS AT TAO SAY OOPS!
SECRET SQUIRRELS AT TAO SAY THIS IS RUSSIA BY GOD!
Fuckery. It’s all fuckery kids. The world is at war already and the populace never got a vote on this one. These scripts and exploits are just the tip of the 2013 iceberg and the reality is that knowing what the likes of J-39 and their ilk were hoping for back in the day we are well and truly fucked if they decide to go all out cyberdouche. Now we have this almost parity with this leak by who? The 2016 cyber equivalent of the Rosenbergs? I haven’t a fucking clue and no one else does as to who did this and why. No really, fuck you if you say you do. And if you attempt to “treat intelligence cyber attribute” this shit you are only trying to get clicks for ads.
But seriously, the biggest issue I have with all of this is that while we are all slobbering over the dump and the potential one to come no one seems to be talking about how fucked up this is. While these guys are making and buying 0days and pwning foreign nations our own infrastructure lays like a burned out whore in the missionary position. We are prosecuting the war but we are not securing the “homeland” for shit and we see it every day. See, the rub of it all is that corporations are the ones that hold the infrastructure and fuck all trying to make them become secure through legislation or any kinds of rules. So here we are with all our shit in the wind to start with, no mass movements to secure the nations everything, and now a dump of just some of our cyber weapons has been spilled online as a big fat fuck you.
Yeah, I feel good about where we are.
Still, the shit is three years old.. Who’s to say that those sploits still work on systems in China let’s say. Anyone checked by the way? Anyone?… Well in any case either someone fucked up and left this shit on a server in 2013 to now OR as some have intoned, this was an insider. Either case still leads to the inevitable fuckery the nations have all been up to and we are not alone, not by a long shot. Some have said that the NSA should be securing things and I just laugh and laugh at that. What the fuck do you think their operational aegis is anyway? It’s to break all the things and own them! So all you who look to Ft. Meade for any solutions are just deluded. Nope, the war is on, it is hot, and it is all under cover. When someone finally decides to go batshit they will unleash all the sploits in tandem with kinetic operations and that will be it. A real hot war will erupt.
It’s still true.. We are the reason we can’t have anything nice.
Oh well, at the end of the day there’s fuck all we can do. The shit is in the wind and now everyone has it. It will be used as a platform of attack until all the things are patched but in between they will be used for whatever ends lone actors or nation states feel like using them for.