THE IRANIANS ARE KNOCKING! THE IRANIANS ARE KNOCKING!
There are known knowns; there are things we know we know.
We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say, we know there are some things we do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don’t know we don’t know.
“Mankdrake, come over here, the Redcoats are coming!”
THE IRANIANS ARE DDOS’ing OUR BANKS! UNCLE FRED CAN’T SEE HIS BANK ACCOUNTS OH THE HUMANITY!
The hue and cry over the DDoS that has been taking place since the summer on certain banks has been increasing over the last week and of course the secret squirrels and the hangers on who want to sell their wares and stories have been rife on the mainstream media. Of course the likes of Droopy Dawg (former Senator Lieberman) have also been making the rounds at podiums near you droning their dire warnings that Iran is double secretly “out to get us with cyber attacks”
Several of my contemporaries have posted articles this week pointing out that emperors all, have have no clothes on and yet, only within this small verse known as the INFOSEC community am I seeing this fact being leveled at all. It’s sad really that we the community in the know should be so marginalized by the media because we do not take the party line. Thusly the truth of the matter never reaches the unwashed masses and they live on in mortal fear and loathing over the great Muslim Shaitan that is Iran.
For us in the know though, we can only continue to say “No, that’s not what’s happening” to those who will listen or yell it out as I am here once again on my screed… Uhh.. I mean blog. Sad but true as well as for me at least cathartic to at least yell in ALL CAPS for a while. I feel better usually after a good screed here…
But I digress…
“What difference does it make if it’s true? If it’s a story and it breaks, they’re gonna run with it.”
Truth is something that media outlets and the government tell you they are giving you but really are they? In the case of the DDoS attacks on the banks there is no solid evidence as to any kind of attribution of who is doing it. This however has not stopped “government sources” and certain secret squirrels within the INFOSEC community *cough VENDORS cough* who are more than willing to tell you that it’s GOTTA be Iran. Why? well… Because.. IRAN DAMMIT! That’s about the sum of it right there. It is so because they say it is, we don’t need no stinkin proof or anything do we?
Now, had any of these people made the caveat that there is no real proof of this but my gut say’s it’s Iran that’d be ok but then again really? Really? That’s going to be an answer? If there is no proof then you say that there isn’t any and that you CANNOT say who did it. It’s simple really but instead we get the Iran angle because that is the party line for the saber rattling du jour right? Who am I kidding though right? After all according to Karl “Turdblossom” Rove back in the Bush administration “we make the reality” right? So the reality is, since it’s on the news and the secret squirrels have told us on background, that Iran is HACKING OUR BANKS!
Hacking.. Ugh, that’s another issue altogether. The nomenclature is completely ignored by the media and the masses just eat it up because it has the word “hack” in it and that is god damned scary! Never mind that the DDoS really isn’t that harmful to anyone. Honestly, DDoS of the banks does not mean that they are down for the count. Sure they will lose some revenues while the sites are down but this is no nuclear strike or massive hack on the banking system that siphons trillions of dollars to Swiss accounts ala Dr. No. It’s all really much ado about nothing yet it is being flogged for the masses in one assumes is a preparatory campaign against Iran and nothing more.
“Can’t have a war without an enemy…You could have one, but it would be a very dull war…”
So yeah Iran is a repressive authoritarian theocratic government that treats its people poorly and seeks to engender itself as powerful to the global scene. They do have some technological know how and they are fixin on getting them some revenge but is a DDoS really going to be their raison d’etre? Think about it isn’t it laughable as a serious attack? Sure Anonymous does it but that isn’t all they have been doing right? THEY have actually been HACKING!
Good lord! I mean c’mon people! If you are gonna frame up Iran for some cyber shit at least do it with some serious hacks against corporations or infrastructure!! Oh, wait, I know, if they were to really do that then there’d be some real reasons for action right? Then perhaps the people might ask if what they are being sold is the truth or not right? Ahh that must be it right there huh? Just some DDoS, pay no attention, it’s not the end of the world.. Oh and IRAN IRAN IRAN CYBER CYBER CYBER!
*subliminal fear images flash across the screen as Anderson Cooper looks sternly into the camera*
Derp derp derp… So yeah, the government needs an enemy and attribution is soooo hard! It’s Iran.. No doubt about it. No, really, it’s a really complex attack! I mean no ordinary group of hackers or security folks could do this kind of thing! Well, except for those guys who have bitcoins and go to the darknet and rent some botnets.. Wait.. SHHHH… It’s IRAN! It HAS TO BE IRAN! IT’S A NATION STATE DDoS!
*takes drag on cig and looks through wayfarers*
You people make my ass twitch…
No no no no no, fuck freedom.
So once again we are left with the media not taking the full measure of things and that even includes NPR which had a report this week that nearly gave me an aneurysm. Brian Krebs told me yesterday in fact that he declined an interview/comment on this because they were not really willing to hear the truth about this. By the way Brian KUDOS to you man. YOU are my new hero! I presume that others who lack a certain moral ethical compass will be blathering every chance they get and those people should be publicly taken to task for their perpetuation of this farce.
Of course others like Jeff Carr have been a voice of sanity on NPR and elsewhere in the past but you know what? Jeff’s logic and truth doesn’t make for bleeding headlines that will draw clicks for ad revenue will it? Marginalize those who tell the truth that is too dull to sell ad space is the way of it today. So on it goes, the media drumbeat will continue saying that Iran is at the heart of every little cyber hiccup that we have from now on. Iran is in good company with China now. Hey, at least China isn’t alone! Now China can just glibly point at Iran and Mahmoud saying “It was them!” and surely many in the government and the media will say AH HA!
My friends we are doomed. The truth no longer matters and I suppose it hasn’t for some time. I am a dinosaur I suppose to believe that there are truths out there that should be told. Could Iran be behind the attacks by using proxy orgs? Sure. Do we have definitive proof? No. That’s all that needs to be said. That is of course not what we are getting from the government and media today though.
Hmm how long til Glenn Beck or O’Rielly are “Cyber Experts” I wonder….