Movie Review: LEGION… Angels With MP-5’s OH MY!

I first saw this poster in the theater after seeing a movie back last October I think it was. My first reaction to it was;

“Angels with MP-5’s… Hmmm.. That’s gonna suck”

Well, this last week I had a chance to see this film and I was right. The most I could have hoped for was a close rip off to the “Prophecy” films with Christopher Walken, the worst I could be faced with was.. Well, this film really.

God Awful.

Oh I made a funny!

Anyway, the plot to this film is so loose that one has to wonder just what batch of bad peyote the writers got their hands on. An angel “Michael” comes down from heaven, cuts off his wings, and immediately heads for a local gang gun cache. He loads up Arnold style ala “Commando” and commandeers a cop car and drives off leaving destruction in his wake.

We then cut to a diner in the middle of the desert (New Mexico maybe?) which begins to hint at a backstory of a young pregnant woman and her “friend” who is taking care of her in a double wide.

ugh.

Suddenly you have a granny crawling the ceiling and biting some guys neck nearly off spewing blood everywhere. She tells the girl that her baby and her are about to die and burn in hell.. we will all burn in hell…

Meh.

Suddenly the zombies appear… Well, not zombies per se, but, what turns out to be not Demons, but Angels inhabiting “weak minded” people. Angels that are here to whack humanity because God is pissed at us for not living up to our potential. So the last time it was a flood… This time, angry angels who are going to chop us to bits!

Oy vey…

Our hero arrives with a trunk full of weaponry and a dark pall takes over the skies… We are at war with angry angels and the only way to survive and keep the “miracle child” alive is to pump them all full of hot lead!

YEEE HA!

Yeah.. It devolved from there.

This was a weak piece of film from the start. It ended up with a decidedly amatuerish rip off ending that really should be fodder for a law suit on the part of Cameron et al. for his Terminator franchise.

(mother, child, and protector in a truck, camera pans/pulls back behind them showing a huge pile of weaponry as they drive a desert road)

There is a whole other plot line between Michael and the Angel Gabriel, but, its just not worth the time. All in all, it was just silly and not worth the calories to use your brain cells whatsoever to think about it.

Please.. Save yourselves! DO NOT SEE THIS FILM! Or, at the very least DO NOT PAY TO SEE IT!

CoB